Forbidden to Go

I should be traveling home from East Asia today. I was supposed to go on a trip with my pastor, Jason Clark, to go and train Church leaders in an East Asian country. I packed my bags, made all of my neccessary preparations and was ready to begin another awesome adventure. That is until I checked my passport. No, my passport was not expired. But, my visa was expired. The country that I was supposed to be traveling to has a visa requirement for entry into the country. I had gone to this country before, back in August and received a visa for that trip that supposed to be good for one year with multiple entries. Late on the night before I was supposed to leave I saw a small discrepancy with my visa. Instead of saying multiple entries, mine said one. So, in essence, I had already used up my one entry that was good for that visa.

What happened next was a whirlwind last ditch effort to go on the trip.

Sunday afternoon I flew to New York City. I was standing outside of a visa expeditors office in Manhattan at 8:30 on Monday morning and had my passport and visa application headed to the consulate office of the country that I was trying to get into. After discussing with the expeditors how long it would take to get my visa, I changed my airline tickets so that I would be flying to the country on Wednesday morning. Monday night I got a call from the expeditors that told me that my visa had been denied. They said (and I'm not sure if I believe this, but it is what it is) that it was denied because the consulate had determined that I did work at a church. I flew back home on Tuesday.

What happened? Why didn't I go on this trip? Now, I know that I have just recounted to you the facts of the situation, but I don' believe that they tell the whole story. I want to share with you, sincerely from my heart, what I believe happened. My thinking on this has been shaped by an experience that the Apostle Paul had after he first met Timothy. This is recorded in Acts 16. It is verses 6 and 7 that have captivated my thoughts over the past week. The Word of God says,

"And they went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. And when they had come up to Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them."

Forbidden by the Holy Spirit. Why? Because they were about to commit egregious sin? No. Because the Holy Spirit was against what they wanted to do? No. The answer to that question of why is just this: we do not know why. Remember, though, what has happened before Acts 16. The Lord Jesus Himself has commissioned His followers to go into all the nations and make disciples of all men. He has also said that His followers would be His witnesses into all the world. A burden has been placed on the heart of Paul to preach the Gospel to the Gentile world. So, Paul heads to Asia with all of those truths fully confirmed in his heart. But, the Holy Spirit forbid him to speak the Word in Asia. Then the Spirit did not allow him to go into Bithynia. What's going on?

Now, we have the luxury of being able to read what happens next in Paul's life and see where the direction the Lord was leading him. Paul didn't have that luxury however. I imagine that after verse 7, he was feeling a bit discouraged and perplexed. Last Monday night I felt the same way. I wondered what God was doing. Riding the subway from Times Square to my hotel that Monday night I asked the Lord, "Lord, am I not doing what you called me to do? Am I not taking the Gospel to the nations? Am I not striving to make disciples of all nations?" The Lord's reply to me was simple and profound. "Jacob, are you for My will or aren't you?"

I am for His will. Above all else I want to see and be submitted to the will of God. Sometimes, a lot of the times in fact, the will of God will cause a shut down of my plans for me. Even when those plans are good and godly. A lot of times His will leads me to a very uncomfortable place, where all that I have is Him. The very thought of that makes me want to cry, honestly. In my heart of hearts that is what I want, but my flesh abhors that thought. My flesh takes great comfort in all of the stuff that I hang onto: familiarity, comfort, ambition, ease and pleasure. When those get taken away and all that I have to hang onto is Christ alone, I get scared. My flesh lies to me and tells me that I need more. Jesus lovingly assures me that is not true.

So many scriptures have comforted my heart and mind in Christ Jesus this week. 2 Cor. 5:7, "for we walk by faith and not by sight." Romans 8:28, "For we know that God works all things out for the good of those who love Him and called according to His purposes." Proverbs 3:5-6,

"Trust in the Lord will all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 16:9, "The heart of man plans his way,but the LORD establishes his steps."

So, why did the Holy Spirit not permit me to speak the word in Asia? I'm not sure except that was His will for me. I do have one thought though. I mentioned earlier that my pastor and I were going on this trip together. Pastor Jason has only been on one international mission trip and that was 8 years ago in Haiti. This will be the longest that he has been away from his wife and 5 children. This will be the farthest from home that he has ever been. He has been in a culture that is very much unlike his own. And He believes that the Lord has lead him every step of the way. I have already said this to him and I really believe this: Me not going on this trip is more about him than it is about me. In the past year Pastor Jason has been leading our fellowship at FBC Athens to be much more missional than we have ever been before. I believe that the Lord is going to use him in an even greater capacity concerning our church's involvement in missions in the years to come. I really believe that the Lord wanted Pastor Jason to have his own experience in Asia. Without me. And I am thrilled about that! I believe that the Lord knew that Jason would need to have his own experience planting and watering, making disciples on the mission field in order to serve as a launching pad for his own passion. A passion born out of his own experience. I praise the Lord that the Holy Spirit burdened my pastor's heart to go to Asia and then filled him with His Spirit that enabled him to go. I would be forbidden a thousand times over if it meant that God would empower and burden Jason for the nations.

So, in closing (and I know that this has been a long one) I don't really have a pretty little formula for having figured all of this out. I am just trusting the Lord day by day. I encourage you to do the same. Trust Him in the yes and trust Him in the no.

I Stand Amazed in the Presence

The LORD is my refuge and strength; a very present help in time of need!
He is my rock that I can hold on to and know that He will keep me anchored!

Though the world around me may be discouraging and the wind from the storms of life are trying to blow my faith down, as long as I continue to praise Him, He will keep me still. He calms me with His soothing words and continuous presence.

Jesus loves me, even if everyone else rejects me. When I begin to have doubts, I am immediately reminded of how faithful He truly is!

I know that even if He doesn't answer my prayers when I want Him to or with the answer that I would prefer to have, He has my best interest at heart! His glory will forever be my best interest.

He knows the opportune moment for all things in my life, and as long as I continue to pursue faith in Him, He will always guide me.

He won't leave me; even though my "father may abandon me, the Lord will hold me close" (Psalm 27:10).

I am so thankful that Jesus Messiah loves me, even though I am so undeserving!

He is always there, no matter what!

He has never failed me! Even though He isn't here physically to wrap His arms around me and tell me everything will be ok, He has provided me with the Church to love me and to be His hands and arms of love.

God is not mad at me. Even when I take pleasure in sin and scorn Him, He is not mad at me.

All of the wrath that the Father wants to pour out on me because of my sin, He has already poured out onto my Substitute, His Son. Jesus, being innocent, took the blame for all my sin. I, being sinful, received all of Christ's righteousness. How, O how, could I not be enraptured with Him?

I am totally and completely in LOVE with my Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ!

He is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me…and He continues to amaze me everyday with who He is.

This was just welling up in my hear this morning.

Your Children Do Not Belong To You

This is the first post of a series that I will be running that will be entitled "Your Children Do Not Belong To You." This theme has been in my heart for several months now, and as a youth pastor I see the complexity of this issue. Plain and simple, parents - your children do not belong to you they belong to the Lord. You are their steward, their caretaker, their parent, but not their Lord. So, I am going to be saying some hard things and challenging you in the way that you think about your role as a parent. I wanted to start off with this testimony from Rob and Terri Stellrecht, whose 12-year-old son, Trent, was killed in a youth group skiing accident Friday the 24th of February. This was taken from Justin Taylor's blog, Between Two Worlds.

On Friday February 18, 2011, God did the unthinkable in our life: He chose to take our 12-year-old son, Trent Lee Stellrecht, home in a skiing accident.

It is only considered “the unthinkable” because our plans are not God’s plans, and our ways are not God’s ways.

Before Trent was born we have entrusted the Lord with his life and have asked Him, above all else, to bring salvation to our son, to use him in a mighty way for God’s glory, and to let him dwell in heaven for eternity.

God only answered our prayers last Friday in a mightier way than we could have imagined, and we have been rejoicing in His good works and His mercies ever since.

Trent was a boy who truly lived. From the very beginning he did what he loved and enjoyed the gifts and skills that God gave him to the full. In his short life he saw much of this world, traveling as far as India, the Bahamas, and Missouri to his favorite destination of Bass Pro Shop for his golden birthday, as well as many camping trips. God instilled a love of hunting and fishing into Trent and a joy of the great outdoors. Since he was little all he wanted was to turn 12 to be able to go hunting. During his 12th year God allowed him to shoot two deer. Trent loved to cook, to pick on his siblings Alexis, Cole, Grace, and Micah, to protect his mother, to snuggle with his father, to be with his friends, especially his best friends Thomas and Samuel. Everything he was interested in he tried, even carving his own long bow and succeeding in taxidermy. In his short years he truly lived.

But as we are all destined to, Trent also died. On Friday, February 18, 2011, we said goodbye to our son as he left for a skiing trip with his friends. Gods says he knows the number of our days, that He has created each one, and that He will do what He pleases. For most of his life Trent struggled with his own sinfulness before God. He knew that he was not right before God, and nothing he could do would ever make up for the sins he committed to make him worthy to enter heaven. In the summer of 2010 God graciously chose to bring salvation to Trent through repentance and the saving grace of Christ Jesus. Trent’s life was transformed and we enjoyed the young fruit in his life as we watched God work.

It was with great peace and much rejoicing that we as his family have sent him off before us and accepted God’s perfect plan for Trent’s life. Our longing is that God would be glorified in what He has done to wake up many to the realization that we are not guaranteed any number of years in this world.

On Friday morning we had our son, on Friday afternoon he was gone.

God’s standards to enter his kingdom are high: He expects perfection. Trent was not perfect, not even close. God graciously provided His perfect son, Jesus Christ, as an atonement for our sinfulness and requires that we simply believe and acknowledge Him for it. God does the rest.

What we have asked nearly every person we have seen since Friday is “What if it had been you? Where would you be right now?” We diligently raised Trent up to know his sinful state and taught him what the Word of God says because we know the implications of denying Christ now, and God was gracious to answer our prayers and to save Him. Scripture says that the gospel will go forth with much sorrow and heartache. Please let Trent’s short life be a wake-up call to you. We are rejoicing in the sorrow because we know where our son is and that we will one day be with him again for eternity because of our own salvation.

God’s mercies are new every day, and His peace does surpass all understanding. God has been so gracious to us in these few days by blessing us first of all with His peace. The family and friends that have surrounded us and have lifted us up in prayer are amazing and another testimony to God’s goodness.

It is with great rejoicing that we release our son, Trent Lee Stellrecht, age 12, to our Heavenly Father. Dance before your King my son.

What a Christ-exalting, eternally minded perspective. I pray that the Lord would be so gracious to me as to allow me to have this same attitude as my sons live and, if He so wills, in their death. Michael and Gideon do not belong to me.